Scrooge - 12/21/07

Ecclesiastes 7:4, 10, 12, & 14, "A wise person thinks about death, but a fool thinks only about having a good time. Don't ask, 'Why was life better in the 'good old days'?' It is not wise to ask such questions. Wisdom ... can save whoever has it. When life is good, enjoy it. But when life is hard, remember: God gives good times and hard times, and no one knows what tomorrow will bring."

CHRISTMAS PAST: I confessed to Melissa the other day that I don't like Christmas anymore. It used to be a time of family and friends; the pressure and expense of gift-giving was balanced by the excitement over the one time throughtout the year that everybody gets together. It was celebration. It was family. It perpetuated the warm and fuzzy feelings from my childhood. Those were the "good old days" of Christmas.

CHRISTMAS PRESENT: That all changed with my mom's death. We had no idea at the time, but she was truly the "glue" that held our family together. I still see my family sporadically, but there have been divisions that prevent us from meeting as a group. Plus, my brother and I have since married, so our prioritites have changed. Christmas is no longer what it used to be and consequently, I don't care about it anymore.

CHRISTMAS FUTURE: This is the situation that came to mind as soon as I read chapter 7 of Ecclesiastes. The whole chapter is filled with great wisdom - as is all of King Solomon's writing. This particular book is full of wisdom gained after despairing over the trials and meaninglessness of life - and how that is all made worthwhile by the end in store for us. But, these lines in particular jumped out at me and spoke to my situation. That's one reason the Bible is called "The Living Word." Its verses seem to change themselves to reveal meanings that speak to individuals in their current situation.

The first line here says a wise person thinks about death, a fool about having a good time. At first, I thought, "Well, I lost my mom. Of course I'm thinking about death. Look how wise I am!" But, I was reminded of Christmas. I wanted only to have a good time - for the holidays to fit into my mold; my definition of celebration. That's not what life is about. We are to treasure what we have, not what we've lost, since we all die. I was not wise, I was a fool.

The verses emphasize we are not wise to ponder "the good old days." It continues to explain the importance of wisdom ... it can save whoever has it. Save us from what? I think probably depression. Anger. Sadness. Rash decisions. Regrettable words. Ourselves.

So in wisdom, we should remember what this verse says: "God gives us good times and hard times, and no one knows what tomorrow will bring."

Experiencing loss is an inevitability. It's bound to happen again. But tomorrow can also bring Great Joy, as the true meaning of the season emphasizes. Our Savior chose to come to the Earth and die to bring us eternal life. Not to give us meaningless gifts

So, it would be wise to enjoy what I do have, and not dwell on what I once had. In the end, we'll all be together anyway in celebration of our Savior!

How marvelous! How wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
Oh, how marvelous! Oh, how wonderful
Is my Savior's love for me!

Give It A-Way - 12/20/07

Mark 4:21&24, "Then Jesus said to them, 'Do you hide a lamp under a bowl or under a bed? No! You put the lamp on a lampstand.' ... The way you give to others is the way God will give to you, but God will give you even more."

I think these two verses jumped out at me this morning as instructions from God on how I am to handle a situation at work.

One of our secretaries was gone for a week and a half - I didn't know why until I welcomed her back. It turns out, her mother passed away. She began telling me a little bit about her family, explaining that her mom was sick for six years before passing away.

My dear God...

I started telling her about my own mother, who was also sick for six years before Heaven became her forwarding address. As we were speaking, I kept thinking about the book Traveling Light by Max Lucado. This book is about the baggage we all carry around with us, and how we can give it over to God, one bag at a time. One piece of "luggage" in the book is the burden of grief - I think our secretary can benefit from it.

An interesting aside, however ... the book is called Traveling Light. Jesus said, "I am the light of the world." He traveled around while teaching. He WAS Traveling Light. His teachings now travel around the world, giving light. And now, a teacher, who loves traveling, has purchased a copy to give to a person who needs the Light Of The World to help her "travel light." GOD ROCKS!

My original plan, before reading this scripture, was to anonymously place the book in her mailbox, maybe with a sticky note on the applicable chapter. I wanted to avoid potential controversy as a Christian teacher in a public school doing Christian things to people who may or may not believe. But, "Do you hide a lamp under a bowl? No!" I won't be as effective if I hide a book based on God's word hoping she'll read it.

Then I read the next verse, "The way you give to others is the way God will give to you ... but even more." So, if I am giving, but hide who the giver is, then God will give to me in the same way. I will still be blessed, but I won't have the awe-inspiring encounter with the Giver. And if I were to have withheld the gift entirely, God would have dealt with me in the same way.

Jesus also said, "I am the way." If He is, then try replacing the word "way" with His name in the scripture above. "The JESUS you give to others is the JESUS God will give to you, but God will give you even more." Ha ha! I love that!

If we freely give the Word - our God; pass along His Traveling Light to others, then we will receive even more of His word and presence. What an exciting way to live!

So, as a Christian state employee I will not anonymously hide the light for others to stumble upon, but let it boldy shine - so pray for me!

________________________________________________________________________

Consider The Source - 12/17/07

John 3:31-32, "'…The one who is from the Earth belongs to the Earth and talks about things on the Earth. But the one who talks about Heaven is greater than all. He tells what he has seen and heard, but no one accepts what He says.'"

"Hindsight is 20/20." How true that adage is. When we look back on our life and on history, we can see perfectly what was done and what should have been done differently; we have the benefit of hindsight.

Fortunately, God's foresight is 20/20, while we are blind in that area. He can look ahead with perfect clarity and warn, direct, or encourage us. According to this scripture in John though, people didn't accept what he said. They killed him instead. Of course, after He rose again and proved everything He said, we believed. Hindsight is 20/20.

People who heard Jesus speak often did not consider the source of His knowledge - which more often than not surprised His listeners. As He taught, people would ask, "Who is this man who speaks with so much authority and knowledge?" He told them about Heaven because He is from Heaven. We talk about the Earth and the things in it because we are from there. We dwell on what we know - cars, books, people. When you listen to somebody, it doesn't take long to figure out where a person's experience lies.

So what if a man talks only about Heaven, God, spirituality, fulfilled prophecies, angels, and perfect living? What if our hindsight proves His foresight to be true?

Then we should consider the source. We should seriously consider the likelihood that great truths have been revealed by a man who experienced them firsthand, even had a part in their original design. We should also then make an effort to accommodate those truths in our lives - we should adjust our lifestyle accordingly. If everything that He prophesied would happen did in fact happen, save for a few last major events at the end, then our 20/20 hindsight should be enough to trust His vision of the future rather than our own. Consider the source of the speaker's knowledge - while also considering that the speaker perhaps is the source of all knowledge.

White Elephants - 12/15/07

Matthew 1:23, "The virgin will be pregnant, she will have a son, and they will call Him Immanuel, which means, 'God is with us.'" This fulfilled the ancient prophecy in Isaiah 7:14, "The Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be pregnant. She will have a son, and she will name Him Immanuel."

God is with us!
God is with us!
Think about that! Because for a long time, He wasn't. We sinned; our pride rejected Him and stained with our own rebellion, we were cast from His presence.

He returned to get the Israelites out of Egypt - He was with the Ark of the Covenant. But, anyone who came near to the Ark drew close to God's presence and, being stained with sin, risked death. Therefore, the Jews were given laws and rituals for cleanliness; blood sacrifice and atonement for sins.

But that was then. The blood sacrifice in the Old Testament temporarily satisfied God's law so we could in those moments enter into His presence. The willful sacrifice of Christ on the cross forever paid the debt caused by sin - fulfilled the requirements of God's law - and cleansed us permanently.

We no longer have to clean up and atone for our sins every time we want to talk to God because we're under grace, God is with us! We don't have to kill a red heifer to come to God, because He killed His own son so He could come to us. Such powerful, radical love!

And now, He is Immanuel. Immanuel. God is with us - Immanuel!

As soon as we sinned, God had a backup plan, and carried it out when His glory would be greatest, yet early on enough in history so His glory could be spread through generations and continents. Isaiah told us it was going to happen, Matthew told us how it did happen.

So now, during this time of year when we focus so much on worthless, trivial Christmas presents, we forget about God's presence - Immanuel. The greatest gift we've ever been given.
Everything else, from bookmarks to new cars, are the worthless gifts you'd see at a "white elephant" gift exchange compared to Immanuel - our true gift.

God is with us. Even now, while you read, God is with us - a privilege dreamed of by generations of people throughout history.

What are you doing with your life in the presence of Immanuel?

A Useless Tree - 11/24/07

Luke 13:6-9, “Jesus told this story: ‘A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard. … the man said to his gardener, ‘I have been looking for fruit on this tree for three years, but I never find any. Cut it down. Why should it waste the ground?’ But the servant answered, ‘Master, let the tree have one more year to produce fruit. Let me dig up the dirt around it and put on some fertilizer. If the tree produces fruit next year, good. But if not, you can cut it down.’”

I wonder how many times in my life I’ve been “The Useless Tree” in this story. It’s so easy for my focus to go from the eternal to the immediate and begin working on what’s best for my comfort rather than what’s best for my condition. If Jesus is the gardener, I’m sure there have been countless times he’s interceded for me. I’m sure that more often than I’d like to admit, He’s gone to the Father to say, “Hang on; don’t give up yet, this fruit is good. Let me work on this tree for a bit and get it to produce fruit again.”

According to this parable, “working on the tree” means digging up dirt and adding fertilizer. Sometimes I feel like there’s enough “fertilizer” in my life – too much junk. But in this case, fertilizer refers to food. Good food. Plant food. The Word of God, spending time alone with Him, worship, fellowship, keeping in step with the spirit rather than what the flesh wants – this is all good food that will help produce fruit for my God. I need more of this in my life, as we all do.

Unfortunately, instead of good food, instead of fertilizer, we have a lot of dirt. Dry dirt. Dirt that takes up space and makes us feel like we’re planted firmly, but offers nothing in return. Instead, it starves us. It replaces the food we need from God with emptiness, and we wither. The fruit stops growing, and we waste the ground we stand on. This is not how I want to live. Choose this day whom you will serve … as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

It’s time to let the Gardener do His job again, to dig out the dirt in my life and replace it with rich, dark soil that will feed my deepest spiritual hunger and allow me to produce the kind of fruit He wants, fruit of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. This is how I want to be identified. By their fruit you will recognize them. This is how I will be identified. I am going to be a good tree and produce the fruit my Father is looking for.

To Serve - 10/5/2007

Luke 17:10, "It is the same with you. When you have done everything you are told to do, you should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done the work we should do.'"

We are called to serve God. In doing so, we are promised an unimaginable reward. A reward so great that its eternal glory cannot be described in a way that we could understand it. That is why it is written, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no one can know what God has in store" 1 Corinthians 2:9.

But, this scripture in Luke captures the heart of the servant. Yes, we are called to serve, but we do not do so for the reward; we do not serve and honor God because of what we can get out of it. If that were so, we would not be serving God, we would be serving ourselves.

Our relationship with God is not a business deal. We do not enter into an agreement to serve so we can collect our "paycheck," our reward for serving. Rather, we serve God because it's what we should do, as the scripture says.

It explains how servants are to work - they serve with no expectation for reward. Their attitude is to say, "we are unworthy servants; we have only done the work we should do." They do not expect to be invited to eat with their master. They are satisfied with being able to serve him instead.

Luckily, our Master, our Savior, our God Almighty is loving. We know that He will indeed invite us to His banquet table, after telling us, "Well done, my good and faithful servant ... come and share my joy with me" Matthew 25:21. We were created to serve Him, but we were also created to be in an intimate, loving relationship with Him.

We can serve Him selflessly with humble, dedicated hearts because we know that He is good. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11. We know that His plan has our best interest at heart, even though we cannot see the whole picture or undersand why - until we look back and see ther perfection of His work.

Serve Him well. Obey Him. We are loved and will be rewarded, but remember that in the end, we are unworthy servants who have only done the work that they should do.

300 - 8/7/2007

We serve a mighty God. We serve a powerful God. We serve the one true God of wonder. He alone was worthy to atone for our sins, and He alone is worthy of our praise and worship. How do you honor God? How do you give Him the glory He deserves, for all He’s done in your life and all He’s done for everybody?

I recently saw the movie 300, a bloody tale of how a garrison of just 300 Spartan soldiers were able to hold back thousands of Persian soldiers from invading ancient Greece. This great accomplishment comes right out of the history books, though the movie itself is very “Hollywood.” My point is, the Spartans lived for glory on the battlefield, and for earning honor in battle.

Another popular movie that I love is Gladiator, in which the main character would often dispatch the soldiers (and then the gladiators) in his command with the words, “Strength and Honor.” In fact, I know men who were so inspired by this story that when parting, they will repeat to each other, “Strength and Honor.” Like the Spartans, these gladiators valued strength, honor, and glory.

But, I ask, whose strength? Whose honor? Whose glory?

Their own? Who were these people that the glory they earned on one battlefield should earn more attention than the Glory of God, which has been proven on countless battlefields? Why should their story captivate our thoughts above God’s glory? Of course movies are secular and will focus on 300 Greek soldiers and not on generations of God’s followers. But as Christians, we should make an effort to maintain our focus and be less impressed with the feats of man than we are with the miracles of God.

This morning as I was listening to the song, “Not to Us” by Chris Tomlin, with a chorus that repeats, “Not to us, but to Your name be the glory,” I was reminded of the story of Gideon in the book of Judges.

Gideon was a normal man, not trained as a warrior. God asked him to take 32,000 soldiers and conquer the Midianites. But God said to him in Judges 7:2, “…You have too many men for me to deliver Midian into their hands. In order that Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her, announce now to the people, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead.’” So 22,000 men left, while 10,000 remained.”

God wanted to reduce the number of Israel’s soldiers to put the odds in favor of the Midianites. This was the only sure way to prove that the victory in battle was because of God’s power, not the soldiers’. Then God told Gideon, “There are still too many men. Take them down to the water, and I will sift them for you there” (7:4). While they were drinking, God told Gideon to separate the ones who drank from their hands from the soldiers who got down on their knees to drink. Three hundred soldiers drank from their hands, the rest who got down on their knees to drink were asked to leave.

That left 300 Israelite soldiers to conquer thousands of Midianites. Cue faith in God and glory for God, please.

The movie “300” focused on 300 Greek soldiers; the glory of so few defeating so many, while encouraging each other with ideas of their own honor and glory. The story of Gideon also used 300 soldiers to illustrate the glory of victory against all odds, but focused on just one person's strength – God’s. Those soldiers encouraged each other as they ran into battle by saying, “A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!” That battle cry reminds me of the one that the Angel warriors use in Frank Peretti novels, “For the saints of God and for the Lamb!” Both battle cries give honor and glory to the only One who truly deserves it.

Now if we keep in mind that often the Lord’s army can be an army of one – you – then perhaps the challenges and battles in your life are no longer obstacles, they are in fact opportunities. They can be situations God has set up to maximize the glory He has earned in delivering you from them. It may be that, like Gideon’s army, God has orchestrated unfavorable conditions in your life to demonstrate His power when delivering you from them. So let Him. Be obedient, trust Him.

I know in these situations, I often find myself whining when I should be encouraged. I mope about circumstances not going my way when I should try to contain the excitement from waiting in anticipation to see what God’s going to do next. I should wait to see how God will "prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies." I should be reminded and inspired to put my faith in the One who is all powerful and the one who is my friend.

Glory to God in the highest!

God Strikes, Our Reward - 7/26/07

2 Chronicles 20:15 & 17, "...Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. Go out and face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you."

The verse above is the response that the king Jehoshaphat received from a prophet in the crowd after he had prayed for God's help. Since the people attacking Judah were the result of obedience toward God rather than disobedience, the picture changed for the people of Judah. And so did the battle. "The battle is not yours, it's the Lord's." Johoshaphat prayed for protection against vast armies mounting an attack, and through the mouth of another that God sent him encouragement.

His prayer is a good model for one seeking protection or help from God. While praying, he brought to mind the fact that the armies approaching were from the lands God told Israel not to attack upon delivering them to the promised land. He humbled himself before God; not pointing his finger and saying, "This is your fault!" but rather, he stressed God's power and that the people did not know what to do, but they would still fix their eyes upon God. They relied totally upon God, trusting His power and favor to deliver them.

The people of Judah were told only to go out and face the oncoming armies. Not to get their weapons. Not to fortify their homes. They were asked to step out in faith, and to watch what the Lord would do. This reminds me of the verse in Isaiah that says, "No weapon formed against me shall prosper."

God used the weapons brought to destroy Judah against those who wielded them. They all slaughtered each other in the presence of the servants of the Lord. The battle truly was the Lord's, since the people of Judah didn't enter into the fight for a second. We see here that though Judah faced a great challenge as a result of their obedience, God protectd them and made sure they would not suffer for it. All they were asked to do was to step up and face their enemies while relying on the strength and promise of the Lord.

Following God does not mean we should fear a backlash from the enemy. If our obedience leads to a threatening situation, we can be sure God will deliver us from it - for that is an example of when the battle is not ours, but the Lord's. Greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world!

The Waiting Room - 7/24/2007

1 Samuel 13:8-14, "He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter. 9 So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings." And Saul offered up the burnt offering. 10 Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him.
11 "What have you done?" asked Samuel. Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash, 12 I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the LORD's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."
13 "You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. 14 But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."

I am in a waiting room right now, so to speak. I am waiting on the interviews and job offers to start at the beginning of August. Teaching is a seasonal job, and consequently so is the hiring. Anxiety has set in, and I've found myself planning an imaginary move to nearby cities to "set up shop" and create the illusion of progress for myself. Although, I have pending applictions in several cities and the one I choose to move to doesn't necessarily mean that's the city in which I will be hired. Only God knows which one that is.

Waiting on God is an important part of following God. We may look around, as Saul's soldiers did, and feel anxious - pressuring ourselves into making a move. But if we move on our own timing instead of His, we probably will miss out on the incredible blessing He's arranging behind the scenes. God is perfect, so is His timing. We are imperfect, and so is our timing.

I have been reading the book Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets off and on. Today I picked it up, and the author alluded to this part of 1 Samuel to emphasize the importance of waiting on God. God, through the prophet Samuel, commanded Saul to wait for Samuel's arrival before making an offering, winning the Lord's favor before battle.

Saul was the king of Israel, and he saw that the men in his command had become anxious. Instead of doing as he was told, ceding his authority to God's, he took it upon himself to make the offering and rally the men for battle. Samuel described this as a foolish act. It showed a rebellious streak in the king's heart; a refusal to wait on God's timing. The consequence: God replaced him with David, "a man after God's own heart."

I must continue to wait on God. He has a job lined up for me, this I know. He's made this clear. I would rather be known as a man after God's own heart than one who is known to make a foolish act in a panic. So I wait. There's no reason not to - He's provided me with everything I need in the interim, and then some. Everything, that is, except the patience to wait. No, He's only provided the opportunity to use patience. So I will. I will patiently wait, because I love God and can trust Him. And I'm thankful that God used this scripture today to remind me of the bigger picture and set my focus back on Him. God's so cool!

A Change in Perspective. - 7/13/07

Genesis 18:13-14, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son."

Is anything too hard for the Lord? Certainly not. Is anything too hard for me? Of course. And through whose point of view do I see the world? Too often, my own. But, through whose point of view should I see the world?

If I look at life and my own situation in comparison to the control I have over it, discouragement could easily follow. I could examine my ongoing job search and my dependent living situation and get frustrated because so much of it is beyond my control. Junior High teaching jobs are strangely hard to find in Washington right now.

But, "Our hope is in the Lord." Like the verse above from Genesis asks, is anything too hard for the Lord? When I look at my life from His point of view, everything is simplified.

• Of course I'll get a job. God told me to leave Belize and move to Western Washington.
• Of course my family will heal, because Mark 11:24 states, "Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours."
• Of course my neice will be taken care of when she moves to Montana. She has trusted her life to God and Luke 12:31 says if we seek His kingdom FIRST, everything else will be added to us ... by His power and authority though, not our own.

Is anything too hard for the Lord? Is anything too hard for the Creator of Heaven, the Maker of the Earth? No. We have only to wait on His perfect timing and trust that He means what He says. He's already proven that.

So now, I continue to wait. I continue to hope. I can relax, enjoy a cup of coffee, and know that I am taken care of. As a Christ follower, hope is something I am blessed with and a source of so much joy. I praise you Jesus for blessing me and guiding me here for a life I know you've prepared for me ahead of time.

Useful Pottery - 2/15/07

Jeremiah 18:4-6, “But the pot He was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him…’Can I not do the same with you as the potter does?’ declares the Lord. ‘Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in My hand.’”

I love this verse and think about it often. I came across it in my Bible today as the song, The Potter’s Hand by Hillsongs played in the background. I turned the page, and in the scripture there, God again used a clay pot as an analogy for Jeremiah. Three clay pot references. So, I decided to think on this a bit and figure out what God was saying to me.

This verse says that the clay was “marred in his hands.” If God is the potter, and we are the clay, then that is very true. We are born from sinful flesh – we all start out as marred clay. We cannot shape ourselves, so we have two choices. We can sit in a lumpy pile and let our lives remain self-absorbed and sinful. Or, we can bring our sloppy, mess of a life to our loving Father, who makes all things new. "Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation; old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new" (2 Cor. 5:17).

Once we’re transformed, we take on the shape He decided on; our lives look like His design rather than what we would have chosen for ourselves. Though we may have had a different mental picture for our lives, we should still trust Him fearlessly. We already know what it looks like when we make the decisions - and it's never as good as when we allow Him to gently guide us. That’s the hardest part of being a Christian – yielding my will to God’s and allowing Him to call the shots.

I should remember that a vessel shaped by a potter; it is not my job to tell Him what I should look like or what my role should be. That's the other thing - my purpose is not meaningless; I was created for something specific, just as a clay pot is created for a specific reason. Though it may look pretty sitting on the shelf, that was not its intended function.

The shape God gives our lives is uniquely suited for the role he has us play. A bowl is different from a pitcher which is different from a pot. I shouldn’t be discouraged if my life doesn’t look like someone else’s; if my shape is drastically different from those around me. That just means he has a drastically different plan for me.

That also means I have no right to question what my Father – the potter – fills his vessel with. How absurd would it be for a cup to come to the potter and insist on holding oil rather than tea? “I made you, you silly cup! Hold what I ask you to hold because you can’t see what I’m doing here. You can’t see the table I’m setting. Trust me, and I promise I’ll take care of you.” He’s proven time and again that He is good. He is powerful. He is loving, and He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

“I’m captured by
Your holy presence
Set me apart, I know you’re drawing me to yourself
Make me more like You

Take me, and mold me
Use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter’s Hands”

Dawn of the New Year - 1/7/07

So here it is, five months after my last blog entry - on this blog. So much has happened; God has changed my life so dramatically and worked so incredibly on aspects of my character that I didn't even know needed to be addressed. Our time in Belize has been incomparable to anything I've ever experienced. In a nutshell, these are the biggest things I've learned or that have changed while living in Central America:

• All I really need is God. Not friends. Not my family (though I desperately want them in my life). Not an internet connection. Not affordable food. Not any of the comforts of living in the U.S., just God. Only God. God, God, God. We all know it; many of us say it, but to be shown that it is true causes deep, personal growth.
  
• I had an unhealthy attachment to the area I lived in because of the history I have there. The land was directly tied to the memory of my mother, as were several of the posessions I had that she had given me. Selling those and leaving that place to move to C.A. changed me forever and freed me from being bound to certain aspects of my grief.
• Melissa and I have grown so much closer. We moved so far away from friends and family that we couldn't help but grow together - all we have to lean on is God and each other. He has truly strengthened our marriage and given us a solid foundation to build the rest of our lives together.
  
• I don't have to be alone to have an encounter with God. I used to think that the only way I could have meaningful God time was to isolate myself from everything. While this is still true to an extent, God has shown me how I can still find Him anywhere; everywhere if I look carefully. Five months of living in a fish bowl and never being alone taught me how to see God in all things.

And perhaps one of the biggest things I learned while teaching in a private school in Central America is that Christian Americans are terrified to talk about their faith around non-believers. The culture I am surrounded by is based on Christian faith, and sometimes I'm taken aback at how frankly people talk about God's undeniable truths. I will hear something that even I, as a Christian, may take offense at. But, that generally only happens when it is a Christian value that is not sensitive to other spiritual points of view. It's not what you would call "politically correct." There is an incredibly vocal group of non-believers that has everyone walking on eggshells. Christians hesitate to say the very name of Jesus in public to avoid offending a follower of any other faith or "disrespecting the rights" of an atheist.

When I look at how I lived back home (and how so many other Christians do as well), I am ashamed. We are commanded to freely spread the gospel to everybody. Who am I to decide it shouldn't be heard by an outspoken atheist? Why should I be afraid to boldly declare God's truth to everybody, regardless of how they may see me? After all, they boldy speak their mind! So what if people in the historical church gave Christianity a bad reputation? That's what people do; we're flawed. "Mistakes were made." But God's character is flawless and He's the one I follow.

I am reminded of John 15:19, "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." The message of the cross offends non-believers. Plain and simple. Being a Christian means that you will not get along with everybody, but you should still try to. Frankly, if we are not offending people with our faith, chances are we are not being bold enough with it. Chances are, we are allowing ourselves to water down what we say we believe in the presence of non-believers to avoid causing any offense. Most likely, we are not letting God use us as a torch to set the hearts of our loved ones on fire because we're afraid of getting into an argument on theology.

That's not necessary! We have only to present the truth as we know it and let the Holy Spirit do His job in the heart of the listener. And if they don't receive the message, tragic as that is, we've done our part. On that Glorious day, God can point back to that moment as an example of His trying to win another heart over; He will be glorified through our work. Keep in mind, too, that many Christians represent some of the previously most hard-hearted atheists ever. But, God can soften any heart. In fact, He probably wants to use me to do just that, if I let Him...

There are a million other things God has shown me through this incredible experience. Whether or not we stay in Belize, this year has been life-changing. I am blessed not only by what He has done in my life, but also where and how He did it. Praise His holy name! Jesus Christ is the sovereign Lord of all, and I thank you Lord for the miracles you've worked in my life. I'll tell you later about how He healed my tooth!